Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
