not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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