im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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