i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
