I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
