If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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