How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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