Sry I called you an 8
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
