so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
