Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
