K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
