I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
