tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You are the jesus of drinking
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
