im drinking this country out of the recession.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
