I think my vagina is haunted
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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