In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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