4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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