Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
