I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
