WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
