I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
