dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
