Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How does it feel to date your dad?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
