Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
