remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
