I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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