windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
