At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
