I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
