playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
