I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
