you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
