Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
