Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
