walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
