he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
