He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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