he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
