This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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