North Korea, Best Korea!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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