Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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