I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
