also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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