Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
