If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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