Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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