Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
