i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
