I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
