you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
