so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
