Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You have to summon your inner elephant
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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