I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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