Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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